How to spread your gene when you have autism

Literally if you are autistic, you basically have the chance of scoring with chicks AND knocking her out at the same time that is comparable to the chance of winning a ticket to Monaco from your local radio lottery AND hitting the jackpot at Casino de Monte-Carlo. The probability is so insignificant that the idea of an autistic dude fathering kids with some normal chick is just bogus.

Just trying to keep it real. No hard feeling. Therefore for guys with autism the way to spread their genes must be unorthodox and atrociously creative. The conventional pick-up moves won’t be applicable at all. In another word autistic dudes must have other ways to do it! Don’t worry if you couldn’t think of any workable alternatives for the time being.  There is already a dude who did it for all the autistic kids:

Dutch sperm donor with autism fathered at least 22 kids

Yes, you can, apparently. This dude hid about his autism deliberately and has been an active sperm donor on the internet and successfully put his autistic tadpoles in at least 22 healthy eggs. He is only 30 years old and has already at least 22 offspring! What’s more, even after he was flagged he is still an active sperm donor, for he is not registered in the official sperm donor record (and therefore unrestricted legally)! This is what happened: desperate big blondes in the Netherlands couldn’t find perfectly healthy guys on the street (or they are convinced guys on the street are all jerks?), and they lost the patience of waiting in the long line for the sperm donation in the official organization. As a last resort for their desperation, they tend to sketchy internet sources for sperms that are going to contribute half genes of their fatherless children; meanwhile this autistic dude was waiting for long time gearing up…

What I don’t get here is how hard it is for a conceivable chick to lurk into a local bar or club to seduce some lecherous dicks for the sperms (plus you could enjoy the consummation)? I on the other side (and I am sure most of guys as well) would love to be the gladiator to accomplish the quest. But the reality is that this autistic dude mastered his plan (though he didn’t really personally score with those chicks, at least I could feel better for myself in this way), and had a decisive victory.

What an epic winning for him. Now people with autism, this might actually be the chance for you to spread your genes! I remember I was reading some articles about animal mating skills years ago when I was pretending to study biology. There was this very impressive peculiar pattern about how male frogs of smaller size spread their sperms to female frogs who are only interested in big ones with the deepest croaking magnum. Knowing its croaking could never beat bigger frogs, the small frog would rather hide behind the bushes where the female frog is ovulating in copulation with the big male frog and ambush the female frog to push their own sperms in raiding speed. The big male frog and female frog of course are not happy with it but it would be too late to reverse the situation; and there will always be some sneaky small ones in the future…

Am I being too notoriously bigoted here towards dudes with autism here? No, here is the part of story I deliberately kept to put in in the end of this article: some of those 22 kids he fathered are already showing the symptoms of autism. This is definitely an epic failure for the eugenics and the Dutch population. Good luck competing with the Muslims in the baby race in the land of tulip and windmills.

11 comments

  1. oh, the guy just has asperger’s — that ain’t no problem! in fact, the more aspies the better (well, actually i’m sure there is a danger limit somewhere) ’cause aspie genes are the physicist/engineering/mathematician genes, and it’s good to have a lot of those around if you like the modern world and all it’s conveniences. after all, without aspies, there never would’ve been any aqueducts! (~_^)

    the more concerning thing about the guy is, maybe, his depression. too much depression and you don’t get anything done. then again, a little depression just means you’re seeing reality for what it is. i happen to think that’s a good thing, although it doesn’t necessarily make an individual more functional.

    i’ve wondered occasionally in the past how many psychopaths and narcissists have spread their genes via sperm donation. who knows?!

    funny cartoon! heh! (^_^)

  2. @hbd chick: I don’t know if it’s a good thing for the society, or women in general in the future. Imagine in the future women are getting more frustrated coz lots of men are too shy to be even visible on the playground, not to mention asking them out for something… :) I would never keep my kids like that for sure. I think there must be a lot of other psychopaths and narcissists in this sperm business. lol. Don’t think he is the only exceptional case though. BTW, not all autistic kids are genius and not only them are smart. Read this: http://www.unm.edu/~psych/faculty/articles/Intelligence%202011.pdf
    it says intelligence is reflected on the level of the sense of humor you got. Humor is a very important attribute for alpha dudes, don’t think autistic kids reveal that much. We shall let the natural sex selection do the talking and decide which lucky bastards get the lottery. lol

    @Kaz: I couldn’t figure out too. And I think women need more than just insemination, that’s the whole point of having men, right?

    @spandrell: This means we are (at least I am) still competing with outgoing social dudes in the same market, I hope most of chicks would still dig us in the end….

    1. @the slitty eye – “BTW, not all autistic kids are genius and not only them are smart.”

      no, of course not all autistic kids are geniuses. however, asperger’s and autism are not exactly the same thing. asperger’s is one type of autism — but if you describe someone as autistic, one often pictures a ‘rain man’ sort of character. aspies function better in society than full-blown autists (i know!). we don’t function perfectly in society — but, like i said in my original comment, we are the ones who design the aqueducts and space shuttles. society needs to keep autistic genes in the population — just maybe autists shouldn’t solely mate with each other.

      ever watch mythbusters? jamie hyneman — classic aspie! (^_^)

      1. Of course, autistic kids are contributing greatly to modern science and technology. It’s the fact they he was so successful that shocked me. Btw, big fan of mythbusters!

        Maybe I should be the Chinese copycat to stir around in Europe with my slittyeye genes in the same way. LMAO

  3. Apparently the dude was intelligent enough to know that the donation way is the only way for him to spread his genes.

    There is a saying, attributed to a Chinese, that the lines of a sage (Sheng-Ren) won’t die out. The heavens will preserve it one way or another.

  4. Great post! Best part of the post “I on the other side (and I am sure most of guys as well) would love to be the gladiator to accomplish the quest.”

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