Other BS

Introspection about my own cognitive prejudice

I think I am going a bit too far with all the emotional outbreak these days with the minorities in China, especially the Uighur. Today while browsing Ortu Kan’s blog all of sudden I was struck by a piece of very old memory of mine that has been kept in the bottom of my heart for years.

Story goes back to my high school years in China. I remember it was an ordinary day in an ordinary city. I was going back home from school with a few friends of mine. On a crowded intersection, I saw a little kid, roughly 4~5 years old by appearance, on the street wandering behind a woman, flustered and scared, in attempt to steal the purpose from the woman’s bag from behind. He followed closely to the woman, then stiffly paused, flustered, scared, then followed up back again…Again and again, he was wandering like that on that intersection for at least 20 minutes, just couldn’t make the move to reach his little hands to… He seemed to literally have no clue how to steal and apparently don’t want to do it. But he was too scared to walk away.  The little boy couldn’t help constantly glaring back to an adult who was hiding at the corner. It seemed he knew he had to do it for that man. There was a sense of immense trill and fear that continuously prompted him to stretch his hand into the bag… We couldn’t stop watching him and were overwhelmingly shocked by the disturbing scene we just witnessed. I could never forget his eyes, that pair of little innocent eyes full of fear, despair and pity. He was frequently rubbing his little hands when he glared back to offset his nervous and frightening emotion towards the the man in the corner, who was viciously staring back with pure maliciousness and apathy. To this day the boy’s image is still so clear and profound. It’s rather painful every time I thought of it; the image is still goddamn crystal-clear just like it happened yesterday… Anyhow, I called the police immediately but police said they couldn’t do nothing about it since they are minors who are actual stealing. they would send them back home but smugglers could bring them back anyway. I, with a few friends of mine, were about to stop that little kid from doing what he wasn’t supposed to do and then the adult dashed up from nowhere and showed us the big machete he had in his jacket… Many years later I am still wondering what happened to that little boy later that day…

That was the only personal experience with the Uighur of mine. My anger over Urumqi riot in 2009 and Hotan in 2011 have clouded my mind with prejudice and to some extent, resentment, against the Uighur recently. But the truth is I am in no position to carelessly generalize those peaceful ones who are living their day-by-day life and those radical extreme Islam fundamentalists. As a Chinese in the foreign land, I should have known better about the stupidity and irresponsibility of simple generalization and accusation based on the rash generalization. After all, it was my strong prejudice emotion that blocked my rational judgement. I feel rather bad and could only resolve consolation through writing this article to pacify some kind of peace in my heart.

Either way, I would be as objective, rational, and logic as possible from now on. There are already so many prejudice around the world, no need for one more from me. From now on, I will double, triple and even four times check the objectivity and rationality of my future articles, so as it could reflect the truth as close as possible.

Tigress on the court

Regardless of the mess Rupert Murdoch got himself into in UK, his wife could surely smack hard and fast. This is a 3D simulation of what happened when his wife was trying to save him from an attacker by some Taiwanese media. It’s just too funny not to ignore in my google news columns. Taiwanese media always makes me laugh so hard. I just love their sense of humor in broadcasting all types of news.

Wiedersehen

Eventually I came to the point that I need to pack up my suitcases and move to another place for an unknown period of time. The feeling is mixed. On one side, after being a “Bonner” for almost four months I feel I just started to get to like the city and mingle around with a group of people and now I have to leave. But on the other side, I am always feeling a change of place could bring something refreshing to my thoughts and plans for the future. And I know it’s the option that makes more sense than staying right now. Either way, this is not the first time that I had to move from one place to another over a period of time, I am so used to it as if it is already part of my life, since six years ago.

The goodbye to a familiar place and genuine friends is like the grief of the fall, when you see the helpless yellow leaves lost their last grip on the once safe haven – the branches that fed them. The embrace to a change and a shining new environment is reminiscent to a pilgrim trip to the holy land; it’s full of expectations, excitement, and also uncertainty, but the trill it gives you would simply boost you up on the whole unknown journey. If I could only be more idealistic, I’d have faith to comfort myself that I would be back again. And just like the good old times,  nothing will change.

Poor thing, as much sentimental as I feel, it doesn’t help stop me from realizing the senseless truth: that it’s time for everyone, everything to move on. A rootless feather floating around shall always be lonely even though the loneliness itself could never be explained but felt all the time. Modern lifestyle, you enriched us with what our ancestors couldn’t even imagine of, and yet you ruthlessly stripped off what was essentially granted to the old generation from us.

Another way to face the world

Hi Chinese and non-Chinese (mostly non-Chinese I assume):

Like millions of young smug dabblers on the internet, I read excessive amount of random facts and news and feel a bit cynical to everything that happens around the world, while  “busy” with what I am supposed to be busy with. I want to cast my views and I want my voice to be heard. I started with posting lots of bizarre and controversial news and information on my faebook wallpost, since facebook is the place where I spend most of the time on the internet, with usually one or two lines of often sarcastic and bitching comments. The topic of information and news that spam up in front of my facebook buddies news feed range from a wide spectrum of field from social-economic issues to modern technology development, from hardcore political and philosophical debate to pointless but damn hilarious demotivational pictures. At some point I post too many random things on my wallpost that some of my friends even start to complain that all they read in his news feed was those craps I post on the facebook. I took that as a compliment. At least one is reading what I want to be read by others. Sometimes my wallpost sparks huge debate among my friends, sometimes I offended some of my friends with my explicit opinions, sometimes I got flattered with loads of comments and like seconding my thoughts, most of the time those posts just condense at the bottom of my profile list while I tried to scroll down to actually see a wallpost by my friends on my profile.

I am always interested in knowing things, and at the same time I am always interested in learning how to deliver my messages to others. As a fan of public speaking, I always prefer to talk to the audience than writing to the readers. However, after being called a “情弱” (which in Japanese means I am literally a retard in obtaining information on the internet) by a friend of mine over so many times, I decided I should start to become somewhat more active on the mothership, the matrix, or somebody would call their entire life, aka the internet. I therefore decided to finally start typing in front of the computer for things other than writing some crappy pseudo scientific papers on the environmental and renewable energy policy and chatting bullshit with friends on skype. Through this blog I will try to exert as much influence as those Jehovah witness dudes knocking on my door every month and stir as much debate and thoughts as I could not possibly achieve on spamming my friend’s facebook news feed.

Finally, with an exclusive background of environmental science study, I found myself way more interested in much wider range of social and political debates. I am not a math guy, IT guy, an engineer guy, definitely not an environmentalist (though I studied the “environment” for 6 straight years) or some random dude just got pissed off on the internet. I am just a heretic Chinese who actually gives a shit about what is going on other than getting rich and live happily ever after. So let this be the prefix of the many unctuous articles that I am about to write on this god-knows-who-is-gonna-read blog with my ambiguous and authentic  muttering, if not making sense at all.

Hope my broken English serve you well, with my broken opinions based on my broken knowledge.

Regards,

A parenthetically unctuous and blathering dabbler, with slitty eyes.